


Home (A Destiel Tale)

by PoisonousDesire



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Implied Gabriel/Sam Winchester, M/M, Male Homosexuality, Sexual Content, Unresolved Sexual Tension
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-17
Updated: 2018-05-17
Packaged: 2019-05-08 07:05:41
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 9
Words: 3,839
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14688999
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PoisonousDesire/pseuds/PoisonousDesire
Summary: He is a womanizer. Everyone knows. Everytime a new case comes up, Dean is nowhere to be found---until Sam finds him in a different woman's bed. Sam wishes his brother would just find a good woman, marry her, and settle down. But he knows that is also a far fetched hope.Enter Castiel. A naïve angel sent to help the brothers on their most recent quest. An angel that quickly butts heads with Dean, causing animosity and anger among the small group. But Sam notices that Dean is slowly remembering things that Cas tells him, and Dean himself is experiencing different thoughts and emotions when he is around the angel. Truly it is just a phase.But the feelings grow stronger, the lust for women weaker...yet Dean refuses to acknowledge these feelings and even tries to suppress them. Maybe he is a little frightened. Maybe it's because he realizes he is falling in love with Cas. Maybe it's because he realizes that in Castiel's blue eyes, Dean has found home.





	1. "Don't Lecture Me, Sam!"

I'm so damn sick and tired of always pulling Dean away from these random women's houses, Sam wrote in the case journal. He wasn't supposed to use it for personal reasons, but Dean never read it, and he was just too frustrated.

For two weeks they had been in Olympia, Washington. There had been reports of a demon that needed to be exterminated. Sam and Dean had taken care of it, and Sam was ready to get back on the road. But no. Dean was gone again, and Sam would either have to wait for him to come back to the inn, or go after him himself.

The frustrating point was not that Dean was with women. Sam could get women just as easily, maybe even easier, if he wanted to. It was the fact that Sam always had to go after Dean and bring him back--Dean never came back on his own. It was almost as if Dean expected Sam to come collect him. 

What he needs, Sam thought, is someone that he can truly be safe with. Safe and secure, and someone who can hold him down.

Fat chance of him finding that. Dean and his womanizing nature wouldn't be easy to quell.

The door to the room opened, and Sam was shocked to see his brother come in, holding a bucket of chicken wings and a cold beer. "What's good, Sammy?" Dean asked, his mouth full of chicken. 

"You're unbelievable," Sam retorted, slamming the journal shut. "You do realize it is 3 am, right? And that you have nasty fucking chewed up chicken in your mouth that nobody wants to see?"

"Don't lecture me, Sam," Dean snapped. "And don't cuss at me, either." He grabbed another wing and tore into it. "I found out very useful information today."

"I'm sure you did," Sam said sarcastically, turning his back to his brother and sitting at the desk. "If this is another sex fact, Dean, I don't care to know."

"Sam, you need to get some," Dean offered, sitting on the bed and kicking off his boots. He put the bucket aside, as well as the beer. "You act like you have a stick up your ass sometimes. Loosen up, will you?"

"Now who's doing the lecturing?" Sam murmured, under his breath. Louder, he said, "Dean, shut up and go to sleep. We need to get on the road first thing tomorrow."

"Why are you always in such a rush?" Dean asked, laying on the bed. "There are so many new things here to discover."

Sam rolled his eyes. "Goodnight, Dean." He pulled out the journal, to write a closing statement.

"Sammy--"

"I said goodnight, Dean," Sam cut him off firmly. With a sigh, he took a pen and wrote, "Dean is still the same as always. Honestly, hunting demons is easy. Understanding my brother is the hard part...hopefully soon, he'll find someone who will stay." 

Sam put down the pen and laid down in the other bed. He shut off the lamp and tried his best to fall asleep. The worst thing that could happen was that he'd be up all night from bad dreams. But Sam could handle it. He always did.


	2. "They're Just Women!"

Dean woke up angry at Sam. That's usually how he woke up. But he didn't know why he was angry this time. He didn't exactly have a reason to be angry.

With a sigh, Dean woke up and changed, noticing that Sam was still asleep. The journal with their case notes lay on the desk. Dean realized he didn't know why they were still here, so he decided to check the book.

Grabbing the container of cold chicken wings, Dean stuck them in the microwave while reading the book. He noticed some scribblings in the corner, and he realized that Sam had written notes about him. 

As Dean read the different remarks, he knew why he was angry. The women. They were just women. They meant nothing to Dean, which was probably what pissed Sam off. His brother was really sensitive. Almost too sensitive. 

He was mesmerized now. He crunched on the wings and then continued to read, flipping through the pages. Sam rolled over and looked at him.

"How is it humanly possible for someone to eat so fucking loud?" Sam snapped. "I hardly get any sleep as it is, and you're over here being loud as possible."

"Why did you write all this about me?" Dean asked.

"Because it's true!" Sam shouted back. "It's all so painfully true, and I needed to get my feelings out somehow. You usually never read the damn thing."

Dean finally stopped with the chicken and turned to look at Sam. "Sammy, I promise you, they're just women. Stop letting it get to you."

Sam sighed. "Dean, I don't care that you're fucking practically every woman that you meet. What bothers me is that we have demons to fight and so many more adventures we could be going on, but I always have to go and collect your drunk, sex crazed ass! And we end up bunking down in the same spot for weeks at a time."

"But does it hurt you?" Dean argued.

"Dear God." Sam massaged his temples. "Send someone to knock some sense into Dean. Fuck." Shaking his head, he sighed. "Can we just get on the road, please?"

Dean nodded, abandoning his bucket of chicken and grabbing the Impala keys. "You know I'm driving."

Sam rolled his eyes and followed his brother out of the motel room and into the car. They drove in silence for a while.

"Where are we headed?" Dean finally asked.

"Honestly, it doesn't matter. Let's just get out of here," Sam responded. He tried hard to get comfortable in the seat. He closed his eyes and let sleep claim him.


	3. Angel.

Dean drove for a long time. Sam was sleeping in the passenger seat, his breathing steady. As he drove, Dean thought about what Sam had said. He was right to be annoyed. Dean wasn't exactly the best person when it came to commitment.

He figured he had many long years, and wanted to have fun before he got older. But for some strange reason, Dean wasn't getting satisfaction from women like he used to. Sure, he could sleep with them and gain some pleasure, but it just didn't feel right. It felt as if something was missing.

He pulled into the parking lot of an old, rundown motel. He shook Sam awake gently. Sam came to, shaking his head. "Where are we?"

"I have no idea. But it's a motel." Dean went inside and booked a room, and Sam followed slowly, still half asleep.

Once they were settled in the room, Dean took a shower. Refreshed, and with a towel wrapped around his waist, he stepped out of the bathroom...and gasped.

A man was standing in the middle of the room, just staring. Dean grabbed the closest thing to him--a hanger--and held it up threateningly.

"Who the fuck are you?!"

The man turned to face him. "You must be Dean."

Dean walked closer, still brandishing the hanger. "Who are you?"

"My name is Castiel," the man answered. "I am an angel sent down to help you and your brother. And also because your brother sent a prayer asking for someone to knock sense into you."

"That was a prayer of frustration, so it doesn't count," Dean muttered. Finally lowering the hanger, he realized he was still in a towel, and was suddenly embarrassed. "I'm going to get dressed," he said, hurrying to the small bathroom again and changing quickly. When he came out, Sam was awake and questioning Castiel's presence.

"He's an angel that God sent to answer your foolish prayer," Dean snapped at his brother. "So fuck you."

Sam looked bewildered. "So Castiel, are you just going to like...crash here? Because it's not like we have a whole lot of space." 

"I'll meet you boys back here in the morning," he answered, and then disappeared. 

Dean's jaw dropped. For once, he was actually speechless.


	4. Fuck This.

Dean was still shaken after the encounter with Castiel. His presence had been so commanding, his eyes such a bright blue...

He shook his head. These were dangerous thoughts. He headed into the bathroom to brush his teeth and when he returned, there stood Castiel, once again startling Dean.

"Dude, you have got to stop popping up randomly." Dean rolled his eyes and woke up Sam.

"Didn't I tell you I would meet you here?" Castiel's voice was raw and emotionless, but at the same time tender. It was strange. 

"Yeah, but I figured you'd let me be awake for more than five minutes before you got all up on my dick," Dean retorted.

Sam finally got up and put on his clothes, unnerved by Castiel's presence once again. They all piled into the Impala. 

"So why did God send you, exactly?" Sam asked.

"I'm here to guide you two. That's the only instruction I was given." Castiel leaned back against the seat, looking out the window. "All of this greenery is so nice up close."

Dean kept driving, trying hard to ignore the angel. It was almost impossible, though. The way Castiel was sitting, anytime Dean looked through the rearview mirror, he saw the blue eyes and the dark hair. And he felt a strangled type feeling in his chest. 

"Fuck this," he muttered to himself. He didn't want to admit to himself that he found the angel quite attractive. But how? And why? Dean was one hundred percent sure he was attracted to women. But did this mean he was also attracted to men?

All of this was giving Dean a headache. He pulled over at a small restaurant and they all scrambled out and into a booth. Sam ordered a large breakfast, and Dean did the same but with a beer. Castiel didn't get anything.

"Not hungry?" Sam asked him.

"I'm still getting used to this body," Castiel told them. "You could call it a meatsuit. My physical form is confined into this human body. I have yet to understand all of the functions."

"Well, if you don't sustain your meatsuit, you won't feel very good," Dean told him. "So eat up, big boy."


	5. Damn Those Blue Eyes!

Sam had noticed some strange behavior in Dean since Castiel had begun travelling with them. He was fidgety, irritable, and refused to make eye contact with Cas, as if looking into his eyes was some type of disease. Something was going on, some underlying cause that Dean was not going to talk about.

It had been two weeks with Cas, and those two weeks had been basically helping him adjust to human life. He still didn't know a lot, but Sam was doing his best to help. Dean was avoiding both of them, trying to disassociate himself from Cas.

Sam finally pulled out the journal, flipping through the pages until he came to a freshly written page. Surprised, he sat down to read it.

"That fucking angel is really starting to screw with my emotions. I don't understand why he is having such an effect on me...I hate it...it's not like he's a woman. I don't know. There's something about him...it intrigues me. But I can never let Sam know that I could be also attracted to men. Or am I? Is it just this one man? Damn those blue eyes..."

Sam closed the journal, shocked. He had never imagined his older brother being attracted to men. Not that it was a problem, of course. It was just a shock. And the fact that Dean was trying to run from his feelings wasn't going to help matters. 

The door opened, and in walked Dean, carrying a big bottle of vodka. "Leave me alone so I can drink away my sorrows," Dean told Sam.

"You don't have any sorrows," Sam retorted, snatching the bottle and stashing it away. "You can't get drunk right now. Where's Cas?"

"Who knows? Who cares?" Dean tried to sound nonchalant, but there was a small edge to his tone. Sam shrugged.

"Thought you might be worried." 

Dean looked at his brother through narrowed eyes. "Why would I care what happens to some naïve angel? I don't give a fuck."

At that moment, Castiel came through the door. The look on his face was one of triumph. "Using doors is surprisingly fun," he announced. "Sometimes I find it exhausting to teleport."

Sam leaned back against the desk and watched Dean's face. His brother had a stony expression, as if he was trying to hide what he was really feeling. 

Castiel looked around. "So this is where we are staying?"

"This is my house," Sam said. "I keep it maintained so that when we pass through, we can always have somewhere to crash for free and with a good amount of privacy."

"Why are there only two rooms?" Castiel asked. "Two beds, yet there are three of us."

"Well, we could always double up..." Sam started to say.

"He can have my bedroom," Dean said, standing up quickly and pushing past the two, not meeting Castiel's eyes. "I'll sleep in the Impala."

He rushed out quickly, leaving Cas and Sam staring after him in wonder.


	6. Lonely Days, Lonely Nights.

Dean couldn't get a good night's sleep in that damn Impala. There wasn't enough space for him to stretch out and even if there had been, the seat was exactly the most comfortable place to be shifting around on. He didn't know why he had given up his bed in the first place, but he knew it would have been too much to have shared the bed with Cas. He much rather preferred being uncomfortable than dealing with an awkward situation.

With a sigh, Dean sat up. It was clear he wasn't getting any sleep tonight. He sat and began to reflect on his life. He wasn't getting any younger, and he lived a dangerous life. He had no one to call his own, no one who truly loved him or cared for him, besides Sam. 

But Dean knew that his own unhappiness was rubbing off on Sam, and forcing him to deal with Dean's mixed emotions. He was half tempted to tell Sam that there was a possibility he could be attracted to men, but he was too ashamed. After all the women he had been with, he suddenly liked men? It made no sense, even to Dean. 

But it would explain why he was so damn lonely. Those women he encountered were never in his life again. They would forget about him, and move on to someone new. Maybe Dean hadn't settled down because he wasn't meant to find his true love in a woman. He was so tired of having these lonely days, lonely nights, these meaningless one night stands. He wanted something real. But at the same time, he didn't want to come to terms with what he knew in his heart was true.

Sighing, he laid back down and closed his eyes, trying to force himself to sleep. But it was no use. He was cold and uncomfortable, and his mind was racing. There was no way sleep was finding him anytime soon.

±+++++++++++++

The next morning, Dean opened his eyes and immediately felt waves of exhaustion hit him. He had slept for maybe an hour. 

Pulling himself out of the car, he went inside the house where Sam and Cas were seated at the table, with coffee and pancakes. Dean slouched down, slowly sipping the coffee, savoring it like it was his last cup on Earth. 

Cas was watching him. Dean could feel his eyes on him, but he didn't return the eye contact, for fear his eyes would reveal the truth.

Despite all the dangerous monsters, demons, witches, and emotions that Dean had ever fought, right now what scared him the most was the fact that he had unspeakable feelings for the beautiful angel with those damn blue eyes.


	7. Gabriel.

Sam knew that Dean was struggling with something. His brother was more withdrawn, sullen and silent than usual. He was refusing to speak to Sam or Castiel, and that worried Sam. 

Throughout their time together, and even before, Sam had come to terms with the fact that he was gay. To him, it felt natural, and it was not awkward or weird whenever he had sexual relations with a man. But if Dean was experiencing any of these feelings, the last thing he would ever do was talk about it.

Sam had been seeing someone casually for a few weeks, and he wanted Dean to be able to see them as a couple, and maybe finally come to the realization that there was nothing wrong with him.

When Gabriel arrived, he wasn't surprised to see Cas. 

"We're brothers," he told him. "I knew he was here. I felt him whenever he hit the Earth. It's good that he is here."

Gabriel and Sam were getting cozy on the couch when Dean arrived. He stopped short in his tracks when he saw the two of them, cuddled together on the couch.

"Whoa, Sammy, what is going on here?" Dean asked.

"Dean, this is my boyfriend, Gabriel. He's a friend of Castiel's," Sam announced.

Dean's face paled. "B-boyfriend?"

"Surely you knew, Dean. I thought I had made it obvious. All the innuendo, the jokes, never getting laid...well, I was, just not by women. How could you not have seen?" Sam had an arm around Gabriel.

"I didn't see because I saw what I wanted to see," Dean sighed, running his fingers through his hair. "I'm happy for you, Sam. It's not good to be lonely." His eyes fixated on something behind Sam, and then filled with longing.

"So make a change for yourself. Don't allow yourself to be lonely," Gabriel told Dean. "Only you know who you are."

Dean nodded awkwardly and left the room. Sam glanced behind him and realized what Dean had been staring at.

Castiel.


	8. WHY

Dean had been taken off guard whenever he saw his brother with another man. Was it possible that maybe Dean could accept who he was?

Only you know who you are, Gabriel had said. And he was right. But why was this happening to Dean? Why did he want Castiel so damn bad? And why was everything he once despised seeming all okay now?

With a sigh, Dean sat in the Impala with a beer and tried his best to stop thinking about his emotions. His plan was to drink away his troubles instead of face them. It had worked for fourteen years. It would work again.

Before he could take a swig, Castiel knocked on the passenger window. Dean's heart began to pound as he rolled it down.

"What, Cas?"

"I was hoping maybe we could talk." Cas peered inside the window, his blue eyes filled with uncertainty.

"Sure. It's unlocked." Dean's voice was shaky. Was he actually nervous? What the actual FUCK was going on?

Cas got in the passenger seat and closed the door. "You are unhappy."

Dean was taken aback. "What? Why do you say that?"

"I can see it in your demeanor. You are unhappy. Is there some underlying reason that you care to share?" 

He shook his head. "No, Cas. I don't know you, and I'm not at all comfortable about pouring my feelings out to a stranger."

Castiel shrugged. "So talk to me as if you were talking to God."

"I don't talk to God."

"Humor me this once. Just talk to me as if I'm not physically here."

Dean sighed. He felt stupid, but he agreed. "I have this really weird internal battle I'm fighting. It feels wrong to me, but...I think I like men."

Castiel nodded. "And why does it feel wrong?"

"Well, doesn't God condemn gay people?" Dean questioned.

"God says that man lying with man, and woman lying with woman, is an abomination, a sin. But that is the sin itself. He loves his creation, Dean, and you are His creation. He may hate the sin, but love the sinner."

Dean was silent. After hearing it explained that way, he felt relief. "So Sam is not evil, or bad?"

"Sam is in love," Castiel said simply. "Everyone deserves happiness on this Earth, and if loving a man makes him happy, then who is anyone to judge him?"

Dean was astonished. Things had taken a very unexpected turn. "Wow. Well, thanks for this talk, Cas. I needed it."

Cas nodded. "Happy to help...but Dean, may I ask why you stare at me so much? I can't help but notice."

He was not expecting that question, and Dean was unprepared. He struggled to find an answer, but nothing was forming.

Fuck me, he thought frantically.


	9. "It's Not A Secret Anymore"

Dean woke up the next morning with the sounds of nature hitting his ears. He had slept in the Impala again, despite the ache in his lower back and neck from the uncomfortable seat support. He was so tempted to start up that Impala and just take a trip to nowhere, but he knew that Sam needed him nearby.

He got out of the Impala after patting "Baby" and went inside to make some coffee. He poured the coffee and added sugar and creamer before turning around to see Sam standing there.

"Sammy? What are you doing? Where are your clothes?" 

Sam chuckled. "Im wearing boxers, Dean. You'll be fine. I don't sleep in pajamas when Gabriel is over."

"Stop, I don't need details..." Dean told him, holding his hand out.

"Dean, are you okay? You've been sleeping in the Impala for days now, and you've been really closed off. Is there something you want to talk about?"

Dean turned slowly and took a deep breath. "I...I..."

"Dean?"

"I'm bisexual!" Dean finally said, the words just spilling from his mouth without him meaning to. 

Sam just stared at his brother for a split second. "Okay, and?"

"You don't care?"

"Look, in case you havent realized, Im dating a man, Dean. I don't know why you're trying to hide it from me. It's kinda not a secret. It wasn't before, really."

"H-how did you know?"

"I read what you wrote in the journal, and I saw how you were staring at Castiel."

At the mention of the angel's name, Dean unwillingly flinched.

"This has nothing to do with Cas."

"Oh, so he has a nickname now?"

"No! Sammy, I don't have feelings for Cas other than.."

"Good morning, boys," Castiel said from behind them, entering the room.

"Hey Cas, Dean and I were just discussing his sexuality," Sam answered casually.

Dean turned as red as a beet. "What? I..Sam, shut up!"

"Oh? And what is there to know?"

"He likes men and women."

"Good to know," Castiel looked at Dean, giving him a small smile. 

Dean couldn't stop blushing, and finally he took his coffee and hurried out to the Impala.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Other social medias: 
> 
> Tumblr: queenunderthemountain96 (taking fanfic requests on there!)
> 
> Instagram: otps.fandoms.shipping and gameofthrxnes_
> 
> Wattpad: TheCaptainHydra

**Author's Note:**

> Other social medias:  
> Tumblr: queenunderthemountain96  
> Instagram: gameofthrxnes_ and otps.fandoms.shipping  
> Wattpad: TheCaptainHydra


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